According to the WHO, 70% of women experience physical or sexual violence by an intimate partner at some point in their lives. The UN goes further to state that more than two thirds of all women killed in Africa in 2017 were killed by intimate partners or family members.
We also understand that men can be victims of abuse, and this can often be at the hands of an abusive female partner.
Within the domestic environment, violence can take many forms and includes:
- Physical abuse
- Sexual abuse
- Emotional, verbal and psychological abuse
- Intimidation
- Harassment
- Stalking
- Damage to property
- Entry into the victims home without consent (where they don’t live together)
- Any other controlling or abusive behaviour
- Economic abuse
If you want to understand if you are a victim of domestic violence, the Warrior Project offers a helpful survey.
It is essential that anyone experiencing abuse gets help as soon as possible. There are many sources of assistance which we have listed at the end of this article.
Should a loved one or friend be experiencing abuse and approaches you for assistance, here are some helpful steps to support her:
- Listen to person and give them space to share whatever they want to tell you
- Believe them when they ask for support, do not try to decide what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’
- Allow the person to give as much detail as they wish to
- Do not judge, as these situations can often be very complex
- Do not tell them what to do, but be open to the fact that there are a number of possible outcomes to their situation
- Refer the individual to a recognised source of help and support
- Be there for the person, make yourself available as an emergency contact
If you are personally experiencing abuse, there are a few key things you should do:
- Speak to someone about your situation, to ensure at least one other adult knows about what is happening to you
- Educate yourself about your rights and think of the next steps you want to take
- If your physical safety (or that of your children) is in danger, prepare a safety plan which can help you plan ahead about how to get yourself (or your family) to safety next time you are in danger
Be aware of the increased risk that may follow reporting but that should not stop you if you feel that you or your family are in a dangerous situation you have a choice:
- Contact any of the organisations below for advice on what legal avenues to follow
- Get counselling for yourself and/or for your children
- Move to a safe place, such as a friend, family member or shelter.
Remember that many Mediclinic Emergency Centres offer support for victims of gender abuse. These include
- Mediclinic Stellenbosch
- Mediclinic Paarl
- Mediclinic Worcester
- Mediclinic Louis Leipoldt
- Mediclinic Panorama
- Mediclinic Cape Gate
- Mediclinic Durbanville
- Mediclinic George
Should you or a close friend or family member require emergency assistance, please visit one of these Emergency Centres or call ER24 on 084 124 for support.
Additional sources of assistance:
GBV Command Centre 0800 428 428 or *120*7867#
Stop Domestic Violence Helpline (Lifeline) 0800 150 150
SAPS Emergency Services 10111