Riding a wave of emotions

One of the hardest things about pregnancy is that we expect to feel a certain way. The media often shows glowing moms-to-be who look nothing but happy. 

However, Alexis Haupt-Pullen, a clinical psychologist at Mediclinic Durbanville, explains that in reality you’re likely to face just as many challenges during pregnancy as you do joys. “Many women feel ambivalent about their pregnancy,” she says. “While you’ll feel joyous at times, you may also feel scared and anxious.”

Alexis says it’s important to let yourself accept that this is normal. “Often, self-judgment is a major cause of distress for pregnant women. It’s crucial to be honest with yourself, allow yourself to feel your emotions, and remember that uncomfortable feelings don't take away from your happiness. You’re allowed to feel a whole range of emotions, and you will.”

Make a space where you can honestly think about your experiences and feelings. This could be writing in a diary, talking with a friend or family member who won’t judge you, or speaking with a therapist.

Alexis warns that if you ignore your concerns and let them simmer under the surface, they might affect your emotional and even physical health. “It’s one thing to have fluctuating emotions; quite another to suffer from persistent sadness and feelings of emptiness and hopelessness.” These might be signs of prenatal depression, she explains. While it’s less known than postnatal depression, which can occur after birth, it’s just as important to deal with.

“Women with prenatal depression often feel like they’re about to be overwhelmed by a giant wave. They might also experience high anxiety and intense worry about pregnancy, childbirth, or the future, which they can’t explain. These women are often irritable, easily frustrated, or quick to anger, and filled with guilt and worthlessness. They may feel inadequate no matter what they do, and no amount of encouragement convinces them otherwise.”

Other symptoms include a loss of interest in things that usually bring pleasure, social withdrawal, and changes in appetite and sleep patterns.

Alexis advises that if you’re experiencing any of these symptoms, it’s important to get help from a healthcare professional like a GP, gynaecologist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. And even if you don't feel like being around people right now, connecting with others is essential when you’re feeling low, she adds.

“When you're having negative thoughts, it’s hard to see yourself or your situation clearly. However, being around supportive and loving people might help you get a better perspective – especially if they provide a safe space where you can express yourself. This is important because when these thoughts stay in your head, everything can start to feel negative. Simply telling someone how you feel can make a huge difference.”