Essential sleep tips for new parents

Feeling so tired that you can't remember the last time you were well-rested? You're not alone, and it's not your fault. Here are some helpful sleep tips for new parents.

Sleep is crucial for your health – just like breathing, eating, and drinking water. But for new parents, getting enough sleep can seem impossible. The truth is, not getting enough sleep affects everything – how you think, how you feel, and how you connect with the people around you. Dr Happy Setsiba, a psychologist at Mediclinic Medforum, regularly sees tired parents in her practice. “It would be unrealistic to expect an uninterrupted 8- or 9-hour sleep cycle,” she says. “Parents should realistically aim for 2-3 hour stretches, with wake periods in between.”

How broken sleep affects your life

While it’s normal to have interrupted sleep with a newborn, understanding how it truly affects you can help you handle this time more mindfully.

“Sleep is essential for your body to replenish,” Dr Setsiba says. “Without enough sleep, your mind can't rest properly.” It's not just about dozing off in front of the TV – it affects everything from how you make decisions to how you handle your emotions.

She describes what she calls “a vicious cycle” between parents and babies: when you're tired, you’re less patient. When you’re less patient, your baby might become fussier. And when your baby is fussy, you get even less rest. It keeps going like this. It's not just you and your baby who are affected – your relationship with your partner can be too.

There’s a change in roles and that can affect a relationship, Dr Setsiba explains. “What used to be there might not be anymore, or you and your partner might feel it differently. Your partnership is adjusting to new routines, new responsibilities, and yes – new levels of exhaustion.”

The key lies in early involvement. “Partners who participate fully before the child’s birth cope better when the baby arrives,” she explains. “This is where antenatal classes and trust-building come in – they help partners feel included and valued in the journey to parenthood.”

Dr Setsiba’s practical advice for new parents

• Master the art of resting without sleep: There’s something called “active rest,” which means finding ways to recharge without actually napping. This could be sitting quietly in a dark room, taking a long bath while your partner handles a feed, or watching something light on TV. You’re not sleeping, but you’re still letting your body and mind recover.
• Make time for real talk: Even if it’s just for 30 minutes, take the time to sit down with your partner and talk about how you’re feeling. This isn’t about solving everything – it’s about not going through it alone.
• Learn to breathe again: When you’re feeling overwhelmed, try simple breathing exercises. When we’re anxious, our breathing gets shallow, which limits oxygen to our brain. Deep, steady breaths can help clear the mental fog, even if sleep is out of reach.
• Share the load strategically: It’s not just about taking turns. You and your partner can split things up in ways that make sense, like having dad take over two nights of feeding while mom gets some rest.
• Find your support: Connect with other new parents who get what you're going through. Sometimes just knowing you’re not alone can help you handle things better.

“Above all, remember to be kind to yourself. Sleep deprivation is serious and if you’re not getting to all the chores on your to-do list right now, that’s okay. Focus on what matters – the wellbeing of your baby, your relationship, and yourself.”